Where do I start? It’s been what seems like a lifetime since I last plugged away, allowing me to really express myself. How vulnerable am I willing to be right now? I think I need to be fairly vulnerable. But it’s quite scary; hence that’s why it’s been so long.
I like to think I have it all together. I don’t. Far from it but I do put on a good show.
At the moment, I’m conflicted. There is a big part of me that has faith in the universe co-conspiring to create my life; that all good things will happen to me. Even if I have to wait in order to test that faith. And then I wait and my faith is tested. Is this really true? Is the universe really abundant and all I need to do is focus, feel the energy and have faith? Where is the proof that my amazing life is manifesting?
I have had all types of experiences in my 55 years on this planet; some not that great and some pretty tough life lessons. Even those lessons (losing jobs, really bad boyfriend-that’s another story, and more I can’t mention at the moment). All of these and many others have taught me lessons, and strangely, in an intangible, intuitive way I knew I would have them.
So at the moment, I feel aimless. Job-related, my life-purpose kind of aimless. I quit my job of 8 years in May 2013 to take a consulting job, which unfortunately ended a year later. This was a great gig and I loved it and now I want to work again. But I’m not sure what I want so how do I get that in my state of confusion? It seems the universe will keep throwing things my way to confuse me even more so that I will get clarity. And now as I am writing this blog, I’m wondering and thinking more that this is the case, that the universe kicked me yet again on my ass so that I can focus on what I really love, something that will take me into the future (there is so much ageism running rampant, who will hire me when I’m 60?). My hypnosis practice is calling me and the universe is patiently telling me ‘Janet, stop this nonsense and get serious about your future. Start really making a difference in peoples lives’. http://www.holistichealingbydesign.com.
This is what I love to do. Wow, somehow I am not so conflicted. Writing helps put this in perspective.
Ok, now what? Well, this blog is the first step to creating my new reality. Next is to set my intention (I’ll put that in another post because I have to really think about that one) and then take it from there; figure out practical ways in which to get my business off the ground. Now I’m excited, now I’m ready to move forward.
I have faith in the universe. It is abundant and wants the best for me. I feel its energy and we are connected. Regardless of what happens in my life, it’s all good.
See you soon….